“Some of us wander from place to place, and many others of us don’t. We have the Somewhere people, who are very much of a place and rooted there, and we have the Anywhere people, who have a faint sense of belonging wherever they are and if they ever had a place,
they left it behind long ago.”
Neil King Jr., American Ramble: a walk of memory and renewal.

Are you a Somewhere person or an Anywhere person? When I read this section of King’s book I paused and considered my life. Yes, I determined, I was a Somewhere person having lived in Indianapolis for the past 40 years, the same house for 33 of those years. Though I dearly love the countryside of England and the coast of just about any ocean, I am rooted here in the Midwest.

But then I had a realization. Though rooted geographically for decades I was dug up from my long, steady Somewhere of a career 4 years ago and flung into Anywhere with varied people and places and assignments. It was, and still is, a liminal place, a land between. At times disorienting and exhilarating, depressing and energizing. Learning to live in this limbo has been the undercurrent of my life since. Perhaps one day it will feel like Somewhere.

Learning to live in liminal spaces is the focus of a new set of newsletters and blog posts I’ll be creating over the weeks ahead. Perhaps you’ll relate or can think of someone who would benefit from processing my musings. If so, please forward on to them or have them sign up to receive the newsletter in their inbox here.

If ever there was a starting point for navigating the land between it must be practicing the habit of self-awareness. I call it a habit because, for many people, introspection must be practiced. Our heads are spilling over with data and fears and obligations. The noise is deafening. Soul-searching is drowned out by the volume of the whirlwind. Self-reflection, which should be an essential practice, turns into a seldom experienced guilty pleasure.

We must meditate on our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. We have to process our losses, anxieties and longings if we don’t want to get stuck in limbo. To know ourselves is to make better decisions, improve our relationships, increase our self-confidence, set good goals and pray more effectively…all crucial skills for getting through liminal spaces. Oh, and if we don’t pay attention to ourselves, our “bodies will keep the score” and give us warnings about our unexamined lives.

Self-awareness will grow into a more natural ability if we first make it a habit. There are numerous ways to get our feelings, fears and longings out of our heart and onto the table in front of us to examine. Counselors and coaches are skilled at helping us extract what’s unrealized within. That’s honestly the mission of the coaches of Destinyworks. We love to see the lightbulb go on when we help people pay attention to themselves.  But there are, of course, ways you can make personal mindfulness a regular part of your life. Note: the two things you’ll need to make this happen are deliberate time and solitude. It’s also helpful to bear witness to your feelings and thoughts by capturing them in some manner. Here are some ideas for you to consider.

• One of my most productive self-awareness times.
• Dedicate a personal space. I have a chair in our house that is my set apart place. Coupled with my journal, my favorite fountain pen and a cup of coffee, I’m good to go.
• Don’t craft a book, write your feelings. Sometimes I bullet point. Other times I draw images. Some days I jabber and other days I write just one sentence. And nobody will ever see what I write.
• Process life while you are soaking in beauty, wonder and joy. Nature, music, gardens, art, architecture, beloved animals, etc. can all elicit deep feelings. Just pay attention and note them.
• Relationships take work, but there are those moments with someone you love that somehow release thoughts and longings that had been buried. Again, pay attention and don’t discount what is happening in that moment.
• The book I quoted at the beginning, American Ramble, is a memoir of a man who walked from Washington D.C to New York City. Neil King Jr.’s act of personal renewal has become one, vicariously, for me!
• Huddle up with a dear friend. People who are skilled at curiosity and care can draw us out when we grasp for words and emotions.

I’ll bet you have other ways you practice self-awareness. Can you share them with me? I’m curious to know what you think. As you make your way through your land between on the way to maybe a new Somewhere my prayer is that you will find yourself along the way.